Today is Thursday August 21,2008 and it's 4:20am. As most of you know I am not up before the sun. :o) I thought I would get a head start on my most relaxing day. Since these days are so special and even though I have had so many tears and pain inside these past weeks. I have my good days and days I struggle. Last night, I wanted to post what happen during my procedures, but I just couldn't. So my schedule for today "do nothing" LOL okay well, I am going to go for a massage, go to lunch, lay out by the pool, and try to stay in my PJ's as long as I can today... I want to say THANK U for all of those prayers you have said, yesterday and days before that. I want you to know it helped SO MUCH YESTERDAY.... My day started off by working a few hours in morning. Then I met Jamie my (cousin) to pick me up and take me to the Hospital. On the way there I felt calm cause I kept telling myself I have all the love and support from my family and friends. I read each and everyone’s comments daily. After I checked in I sat in that wonderful waiting room area where things start to hit me... I kept t elling myself com e on lets get this thing started. I wanted to get in and get out asap... "See that's why I am late to things. (kidding) Cause waiting is the worst...The drive to the hospital is the most frightening for me cause of all of the unknowns of what is to come for that day. I can cry just thinking about it. But, today was different cause we didn't talk about ME. We talked about Jamie's life and it kept my mind off it. When they called me back, I couldn't bring Jamie back with me while they were doing the paracentisis the nurse said No.. But, I laid on the bed and talked to the nurse. I texed Jamie, to come back and since I have VIP up in this camp they let him back. I like to feel like I run the show while I am in the hospital since I’ve been there more then half my life.... Jamie, brought it to my attention that I say "Oh My God" a lot when they hit a nerve twice in my hand while doing my IV. But, I really couldn't say anything to the nurse since Beth, is truly a wonderful young nurse who looked like my best friend. I didnt want to make her mad since I see them all the time.. So when I was done they rolled my bed to the holding area for my liver biopsy. This was hard cause it was 12:30 pm and I was hungry and thirsty. That seemed to take a long time to get back to the operating room. It was 2:00PM when I finally got back there. I tried to think differently, just calm and in the moment., So20picture yourself20laying on the bed lifting your body up to scoot over to a cold table. Were all that fits is your body cause its so tiny even I feel like I am going to fall off. I was laying down talking to a nurse about what’s going to happen. This is where I go to my happy place me on a beach drinking Coronas... The nurse gave me benadryl to make me sleepy. Then they gave me versed which is suppose to knock you out and help someone relaxed. Well, it calmed my nerves just a little. " I kept talking while she was on the computer. . I kept telling her about my Vegas trip. She kept asking do you feel sleepy? I said yes, but wide awake. She gave me more versed and I was seeing things move in the room which were NOT moving. About 10 minutes went by she gave me more and told me we have to get started and covered my head with a blue sheet and made me keep my head to the left. She told me if I move my hands at all she would tie my hands down. I told her please don't do that I promise I wont move and I didn't. I talked the whole time to them while they said I did great. I am all done. "Thank GOD" I told them thank u and please take the sheet off my face so I could see. I sat up a little and said can I get off this table and get back into that other bed.....UHHH NO MELISSA, we will move you. ok, fine I could have gotten off that bed myself. :o) I got back to my room around 3:20pm. and the versed kicked in, great timing. WOW drugs, what they can do to someone? I had versed many, many times before and don't remember doing funny things like that. I got to eat and drink some soda which felt good. I went home ate some more and went to the hot tub. last night I laid in a lawn chair looked up at the beautiful sky and said, THANK U GOD for getting me through the two hardest test and cant wait for my results. I am very hopeful and know in my heart that whatever comes my way I WILL get through it and I know I have the WILL to fight. I guess deep down I am stubborn cause I will NEVER GIVE Up until the day I die.. This has been such a hard time for me and cant wait for Vegas. Thank u for this trip Dad I love u very much. Thanks Jamie for everything that you do. To my family, thank you and Terri, for helping me with everything.. what would u do with out me????? LOL ok back to bed MWAH.......I love u Momlove your honeybee &n